The Prefects held a special assembly which included a video reflecting on what Pride Month means to students and staff, and a poignant speech from Year 13 student Toby Bowler of Clark House.
Toby gave key messages about his own experience, hoping that his words might help others grow in understanding or feel more secure in their own journey.
‘It’s weird to be up here speaking about a topic that I’ve avoided even thinking about for the majority of my time at St Paul’s,’ Toby began. ‘If someone had told Year 9 me that I would be up here now, giving a speech on Pride Week, I probably would’ve laughed in their face.’
In an honest and moving address, Toby acknowledged how difficult the topic can be to speak about, especially in an environment where people hold diverse views. But that, he said, was exactly why it needed to be spoken about.
“A huge part of this week is about being yourself, living your life to the rules and regulations you want to, and not changing or abiding by anyone else’s idea of who you should be. It’s a very easy thing to say, ‘Be yourself, ‘Don’t care what other people think’... but as we all know, it’s never that simple or easy.”
Toby shared how, from his earliest years at school, he felt the impact of labels, assumptions and stereotypes. His speech touched on the isolation and pressure he felt to conform, the toll on his wellbeing, and the long journey toward self-acceptance.
“I hated myself for who I was, and I hated the idea of the person I was turning into. Like many of you, I always imagined a traditional life for myself... Who I wanted to be and what I imagined for my life crumbled around me as I continued day to day, hoping that this too, I would just grow out of.’
Toby spoke about the turning point, when he stopped trying to fit into a mould he was never meant for. “Once I stopped trying to please the unpleasable… things got better... There’s no cheat code to getting better... It’s all a mindset thing. Once you believe in yourself and who you are, gradually everyone else will too.”
Bringing the message back to our school context, Toby issued a challenge: to recognise the power of language and culture, and to choose empathy.
“It’s all about the culture. Your words literally kill people. Whether it’s a burst of laughter, a slur, a comment, a look or even just doing nothing, it’s what makes horror stories like this a reality... The difference is really made when we treat everyone with empathy, no matter how different they are to us.”
Toby finished with a quote: The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.
